every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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