Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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