Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize