I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Small penises have feelings too.
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Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize