sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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