i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
