I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
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just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
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He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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