He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize