***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Randomize
