sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
