how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
