We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
