you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
