He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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