I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
