What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
