Just fell off a train. Bad.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
is that a dick in a sweater?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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