I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize