You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
