She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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