Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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