anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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