question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
