I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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