tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
