Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
