and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
