dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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