I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
