I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
