Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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