Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
