Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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