When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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