They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
