Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize