Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
