Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
