I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
