Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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