1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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