I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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