no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
