you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
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I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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