Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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