i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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