I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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