The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize