We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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