Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I lost the right to judge tonight
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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