i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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