i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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