flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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