4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Shame is for Republicans.
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