WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
