one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
