I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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