I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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