She's JV to your varsity
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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