when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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