whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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