I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
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