I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
