careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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