It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
